it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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