I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
