Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
