she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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