CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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