your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
