We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
