Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
