well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
high people should be assigned attendants
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
