i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
two words...techno handjob
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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