dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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