is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
