I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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