why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
