yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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