mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
