Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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