all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
