Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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