I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
