I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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