I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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