Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize