dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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