sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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