Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
