Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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