youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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