when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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