So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
