Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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