the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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