Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
