I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
