i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
