My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
