There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
