How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
