how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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