sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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