We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize