you win again, gameday.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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