Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
