Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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