So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
