Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ladies don't puke and tell
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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