I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
