He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
