2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
