Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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