The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
