I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
