the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
