There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
