please come you make the beer taste better
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
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