Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Someone shit on the floor
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
