I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
