i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
