Porn is love you can see.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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