You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
