i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize