I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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