And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need to calm my uterus...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
