I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
