I hate all girls vehemently.
Screwed.edu
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
In other news, I just burned my penis
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
