I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
