weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
