I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize