So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
