Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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