i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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