i will never coherently bang her
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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