i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize